Duo the Thief
by Emimi the Confuzed
Summary: Hm... A little bit of everything. I scare myself!!!


Duo the Thief

Kon'nichi wa! or Kon'ban wa! ^_^ This is Emimi. Enjoy. My first attempt at humor, so tell me what ya think!

Duo rummaged through a bag. "Hm... Wonder what I can steal from him this time. Ah ha!" Duo pulled out a pair of weird looking pants. "How can Wu Fei wear these?" He heard the doorknob turn. He jumped on to his bed and sat on the pants, concealing the stolen item. Quatre turned the light on and did a little girl scream. "Duo! Why are you sitting here in the dark?" "Uh... 'Cuz I'm the God of Death, and I'm wanting to kick someone's ass!" "Can't you do that with the lights on?" Trowa asked. "Yeah, Psh, that's it." Trowa shook his head. "Duo, a battle's started." "So?"

Wu Fei walking in. "ROAR!!!!!!!" Duo attacked him. "Whathehell?" Wu Fei yelled. "Off me! Damn it, off me!!!!!!!" He shoved Duo off. Duo jumped up. "Hey Wu Fei! Look what I got! " He waved the stolen item in the air. Wu Fei's face turned red. "Give those back, thief. Injustice! I'll slice through you!" "Nope. Gotta catch me." They started running around the room. 

Heero walked in to see Wu Fei and Duo staring intently at each other over a bed. "Wu Fei? Are you wearing... pants?" he asked, looking at the piece of clothing in Duo's hand. "For your information, I... AM!" Wu Fei yelled, lunging at Duo. He was about ready to hit Duo when Quatre and Trowa pulled him back. Duo stood up. "Hey, these pants are kinda heavy. What do you keep in them?" Duo reached in and pulled something out. "Hm, a sword. Wonder what else is in there..." He reached his hand back in. "Let's see... A plush Nataku??? Well, you must keep you loved one's close... Wait? What DO you DO with this Wu Fei???" Wu Fei's face turned red. "I don't even want to know." "Hey, this is injustice. Let me go!" 

"I want to see more, Duo!" Quatre cried with euthusasum. "Okay dokay." Duo started to pull out a bunch of weird objects. "Hm... A magnifying glass... Um, don't want to know what you look at with that.... A Picture of... Sally Po???? I thought you hated her! Hm... What else... Vodka! Wu Fei! You're under age!" "That never stopped you." Heero smirked. "Duo, you said that stuff was no alcoholic!" Quatre scolded. "I recall you being a little tipsy afterwards, Quatre." Trowa said quietly. "I was tipsy? You should talk! Remember..." Quatre dropped off as he felt everyone's eyes.... "Nevermind." Duo went back to pulling stuff out. "Hm, a basketball.... Wu Fei, you don't like sports! A stuffed... BUNNY? A bear is a ferocious animal, but a BUNNY??? Hoppy hop! Anyway..." Duo stuck his head in. 

"Let's see... A tent... A sleeping bag. Relena? What are you doing in Wu Fei's pants?""I was coming home from a date with Heero when I tripped over a Leo and landed on your clothesline. I fell in these pants, and have been lost ever since. Wow, did you know there's extensive plans for a Gundam in there?" Wu Fei got free. "You know too much..." He shot her. "Relena!" Heero cried. "Anyone who falls for her needs to be shot!" Heero stopped moving towards her. "I never liked you anyway!" he said, kicking her side. "I heard that!" she replied. Treize walks in the room. "Bring out your dead...." On cue, Quatre and Trowa place her in the cart he was pushing. "I'm not dead yet!" "Did you hear that Quatre? She says she's not dead yet!" "She will be soon." "I could get better!" she whined as Treize wheeled her out. 

Wu Fei turned back to Duo, and pointed the gun his way. "Give me back the pants." Duo threw them at him. They landed on his head. Duo tried not to laugh. He couldn't contain it, though. "HAHAHAHAHA!!! 'She is the one named Sailor Moon!'" "You are comparing me to a weak woman??? That's it!" Wu Fei shot him. Duo fell to the ground. "Agh! Ah, ooo, eee, aaa, iii, mmm..." Wu Fei assumed he was finished. "That rabbit is a killer!" Duo yelled. Wu Fei turned back and shot him again. "Agh! Ah, ooo, eee, aaa, iii, mmm..." Duo cried, kicking the wall. He was silent. Wu Fei turned back. "Ah." Duo said again, kicking the wall one last time. Wu Fei just ignored him. While this was going on, Quatre, Heero, and Trowa had somehow morphed into Oompaloompas. (sp?) 

Oompa Loompa, Doompa de doo.

We have a good lesson for you.

Oompa Loompa, Doompa de dee

If you listen, you'll survive like we.

What do you do if you see Wu Fei?

You sure don't see how much his pants weigh.

And don't find his Gundam plans, okay?

And you will see the next day,

Oooo Ooo,

He's a very scary guy...

Oompa loompa Doompa de doo,

If you listen, you'll survive too.

And you will live in happiness too,

Just like the Oompa loompa Doompa de doo!

*bam* "The End" Wu Fei says, leaving the room full of the dead. Treize comes back in. "Bring out your dead!"

Emimi: Wow. That came from my mind? Scary.... *shivers* Okay let's see, what all was in here... Monty Python, a lot... Um, Sailor Moon, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory... Buffy the Vampire Slayer the original movie (Ahh, eee, ooo, aaa, iii, mmm...) I think that about covers it... Wow. I'm scared. My humorous part of my mind is screwed. Excuse me while I go get a lobotomy.


End file.
